"we must confess that as a culture we have severely underestimated the impact that fathers have in the faith formation of their children.”
You’ve seen this scenario before. A rookie athlete wins a championship game and is interviewed by a reporter about who he’d like to thank. What does he say, “I love you mom!” This isn’t unwarranted. A mother captures the heart and love of their child. Caught up in the elation of the moment, the boy can’t think of anything more important than praising the woman who poured her heart and soul into him. But where did the love for that game come from to begin with? The irony is that it was likely the father's love for the sport that played a tremendous role over the child’s life without even realizing it.
Jim Henson once said, “[Kids] don't remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.” Another way you could put this is to say that kids pick up on what you are passionate about. If you like football, they will notice. If you love God, they’ll recognize that as well.
In a Swiss study on the influence of Christian fathers, they found that when men faithfully attended church, their children were 33% more likely to attend church regularly into their adult years and 74% more likely to continue practicing their faith in some form. Yet, when a mother attended church without the father, their children were only 3% likely to attend church regularly as adults and 38% more likely to abandon their faith entirely. These statistics are astounding, and while we do not want to diminish the spiritual influence of a mother, we must confess that as a culture we have severely underestimated the impact that fathers have in the faith formation of their children.
Be Faithful Through Trials
In Peter’s first letter to the Church, he is writing to believers who are being persecuted for their faith. This comes from the disciple who once rebuked Jesus for suggesting that He would die on a cross and His followers would suffer. Peter has come a long way in realizing that one of the marks of a true believer is the testing of their faith that results in greater glory toward Christ.
We are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, and a people of God’s own pride and possession (2:9a). But this new heavenly citizenship puts us at odds with the people of this world. We are sojourners and exiles (2:11). Basically, Peter is saying that we are to remain in the world, but we are not of this world.
God’s grace shines brightly in the midst of our trials and tribulations. These difficulties are designed to forge our faith in God and rely on Him more fully. Without the testing of our faith we would remain weak and vulnerable. Peter gives the example of our faith being refined as gold in the furnace. The result of which is a beautiful picture of God’s grace.
Paul Tripp points out how God places the family at the center of this sanctifying process. “If you want your heart revealed, get married. If you want to know it more fully, have children.” This is where the core of our faith is most adequately demonstrated to the next generation. Kids need to see that our faith is genuine and works in difficult times. They need to be confident that the faith of their fathers can withstand the pressures of life.
Be Faithful in the Little Things
When it comes to being a witness, people think that they need a profound and compelling story or argument that will astound the hearers, that to capture the attention of youth and to leave a lasting impression requires something dramatic. But Peter says that the most compelling presentations of the gospel are not with words, but good works over time.
Peter writes to the church to be faithful in three key areas: society, work, and home. This reflects the areas of our lives where we spend most of our time. Regarding government, Peter says to pay honor without being anxious. Sadly, too many Christians are so caught up with what is happening in society that they demonstrate a lack of trust in God who is in control of all things. Peter is telling us to live in such a way that is not rattled or shaken by political fluctuations.
Peter continues to address this issue when he refers to the value of a day’s work. My dad taught me the importance of a good work ethic when he helped my find my first full-time job when I was 14. From those early years I learned a valuable principle: Find something that nobody else likes to do and do it well and do it cheerfully. I have been promoted in just about every job I have ever had because I learned to be faithful in the little things.
Citizenship and work are two key areas where fathers have a profound influence over their children. But what if you are a woman married to an unbeliever? Are you doomed to be a statistic and see your children abandon their faith? Peter addresses that concern as well when he encourages wives to live out their faith so that they may win their husbands to Christ without a word. Likewise, husbands are told to be attentive and understanding of their wives’ needs.
Do you see the resounding theme in these three scenarios? To be an effective witness, we must practice what we preach. We cannot teach faith when we are constantly anxious about our freedom. We cannot teach hope when we are complaining about our position in life. We cannot teach love if we are not willing to serve those who don’t deserve it. This is how the gospel is demonstrated in being faithful with the little things.
Be Faithful in Character
Peter makes a unique distinction in talking to wives when he instructs them to not be superficial, but to focus on internal beauty instead. This isn’t a message solely for women. It falls in line with everything Peter has been teaching already. It is not enough to simply have the appearance of a strong Christian family to outsiders. In fact, the pressures of being a picture perfect family can be counterintuitive to a true gospel witness.
Children will recognize the inconsistencies of what is presented at church and what actually happens in the home. Worshipping on Sunday without opening the Bible with the family will cultivate a narrative that the gospel is only essential in certain areas of life.
When disciplining children, it is essential to demonstrate that we are far more concerned about their character than their conformity to the rules. This is easier said than done. How can we make a child want to sit down and obey? We can’t. That is why it is so important to focus on our own character and demonstrate the qualities of obedience to God, even when it’s hard.
What we truly believe will eventually shine through in our character and will remain in the memory of those who have most closely examined our lives. That is why Jesus tells us to be salt and light so that they will see our good works and give glory to our Father in heaven. Maybe you missed it, but that is exactly what Peter says as he begins this section, “Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation” (I Peter 2:12).
Don’t underestimate the impact of a faithful witness.